Chances are that if you’re anxious about your child’s school applications, your child is picking up on it. Children of all ages are sensitive to parental anxiety, and although very young children won’t likely associate your anxiety with the school applications, the uncertainty of not knowing or understanding the roots of your stress is not a good thing for them - or for your relationship. 

Older children who are aware of and more invested in the process of moving on to a new school will be taking their emotional cues largely from you.  As a parent, you can help your child manage their anxiety during this time of waiting by offering emotional support, maintaining a balanced perspective, encouraging healthy habits, providing distractions, and seeking professional help if needed. 

Provide Emotional Support

• Listen actively: Be available to listen to your child’s fears and concerns without judgment or immediately offering solutions. Sometimes, children just want to feel acknowledged - heard and understood.
• Validate feelings: Acknowledge that their anxiety is a normal response to an uncertain and important situation. Use phrases like, "That sounds really stressful, and it's okay to feel worried - but I promise you everything will turn out for the best."
• Offer unconditional love: Reassure them that your love and pride are based on their efforts and character, not on which school accepts them.
• Avoid comparisons: Do not compare their application results or situation with those of friends or siblings. Every child is unique, every journey is unique. 

Maintain a Balanced Perspective

• Focus on "fit" over prestige: Emphasize that the "best" school is the one where they will thrive and be happy, not necessarily ones deemed “the best.”  
• Manage your own anxiety: Children often mirror their parents' stress levels. Try to keep your own anxieties in check, and find healthy ways to manage your stress to set a good example.
• Keep communication open on non-school topics: Make sure all your conversations are not focused on the application process, and make time for fun family activities and discussions about other aspects of their lives. 

Encourage Healthy Habits and Distractions

• Prioritize rest and self-care: Encourage adequate sleep, a healthy diet, and physical activity - all important for mental well-being.
• Plan distracting activities: Have fun with  hobbies, sports, or family outings (e.g., going to the movies, cooking, or going for a walk) that help take their minds off the waiting game.
• Practice coping skills: Teach and practice relaxation techniques including deep breathing, mindfulness, or guided imagery to help manage anxious thoughts when they arise. 

Know When to Seek Help

• Recognize warning signs: Be aware of signs of prolonged anxiety, such as changes in eating or sleeping habits, increased irritability, social isolation, or persistent physical symptoms like headaches or stomachaches.
• Consult professionals: If your child's anxiety is interfering with their daily life and doesn't fade over time, consider reaching out to a school counselor, pediatrician, or mental health professional for additional support.

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