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Homework shouldn’t be a battleground for you and your child. Your child’s homework responsibilities actually present you with a great opportunity to organically teach your child about how to accept responsibility, establish a healthy work ethic, and reach goals. As tempting as it is to give into a teary or exasperated child’s behavior and just do the work for them, it’s not a good idea for many reasons.
For one, in doing the work for your child or rushing them through their work by giving answers each step of the way, you essentially rob them of opportunities to discover the power of self-reliance, perseverance, and success. For another, given the fact that you’re undoubtedly caving because you, too, are frustrated, you end up modelling inappropriate behavior in the face of stress – and communicating to your child that you don’t believe in them.
Most experts agree that that parents should be somewhat but not overly involved in their child’s homework. The goal is to help children complete their homework independently, while providing guidance and encouragement. The emphasis needs to be on helping children do homework themselves – not doing it for them.
SPECIFIC TIPS
- Be available
- Be present to help with directions, answer questions, and praise effort.
- Create structure
- Establish a regular time and place for homework, and help children create a checklist.
- Set expectations
- Let children know that homework is important, and that they need to learn as much as they can.
- Encourage autonomy
- Allow children to generate answers on their own, and only step in when they ask for help.
- Don't critique
- Focus on completion, and let teachers and tutors provide feedback on accuracy.
If you consistently follow these suggestions and your child is still balking or fighting homework, turn to their teacher for advice. You might decide to partner up to teach your
child the consequences of not completing homework assignments – and in doing so identify successful motivators or work techniques and strategies.
Constant and ineffectively fought battles with your child over homework over time can deteriorate your relationship. If nothing you try or your child’s teacher suggests seems to calm turbulent homework waters, consider hiring a tutor to work with your child. Often, a tutor can help identify the specific issue your child is struggling with. Is the homework too difficult? Are they getting overwhelmed, or having trouble organizing and prioritizing? Do they need to incorporate more breaks? A tutor can help your child identify the specific strategies that work for them and can help them build independence moving forward.
And by guiding your child toward effective homework habits, a good tutor can also help you become a better homework helper - fortifying the kind of help your child and your family truly needs for to nurture love of learning and meet success!
